Vivek Narain on Life

The musings of a man preparing for a mission

Archive for June, 2008

Euro Fighter 08

Posted by viveknarain on June 29, 2008

As two international heavyweights prepare for the violent final battle, we spotlight the strengths and weakness of some of the world’s greatest football-fighters, who will showcase their skills during tomorrow’s epic Euro struggle.

Rhyu Ballack

Rhyu Ballack is the most recognizable character on the field and the fearless leader of the German side. A legend in the football-fighting world, he is renowned for his strength and ability to blend styles that rely on both brute force and stylish grace. He is a dedicated football technician and is both unrelenting and unforgiving. Ballack will rocket the ball violently into the net with a spine splitting free kick or neck severing header, but it is his leadership that must shine if Germany is too win the European championship.

Chun-Li Fabregas

Quick and agile, and completely dedicated to avenging the losses suffered by Spain in previous international battles, Chun-Li Fabregas is a formidable opponent, even though he may not look like one. His flurry of kicks and lightning quickness can tear apart the German defense, which will struggle to stifle his clever distribution skills, and they can’t afford to ignore his deadly striking ability.

Blanka Schweinsteiger

Blanka Schweinsteiger is clearly more monster than human. He is a savage player and hideous beast who can strike ferociously anywhere on the pitch. Schweinsteiger’s goal scoring heroics in the last two Euro games helped bring Germany to the final, so Spain knows they must reign in this creature if they have any hope of winning.

Vega Torres

Vega Torres is easily the fastest player on the pitch, but he is also one of the most delicate, his ability to deal with physical defenders is not comparable to his mind bending open-field speed. Torres’s quickness and high flying style allows him to score intricate goals that incorporate a series of complicated high speed moves. Torres is even long rage threat with his sinister goal scoring claw. Combined with his narcissistic attitude and flowing blond hair, Germany will need to focus on this flashy speedster if they want to win.

Zangief Metzelder

This massive defender is an impentertable force along the German back line. Annihlating any ariel attack that dares to enter his part of the field, Zangief Metzelder uses his massive physicality to demolish attackers. Spain will have to use their speed and agility to get around this force of defensive brutality.

Sergio Gile

With indisputable offensive prowess, especially for a fullback, Sergio Gile’s sonic boom attacks that originate from his defensive position are a key part of Spain’s game plan. Gile’s offensive firepower is indisputable, but he is a legendary hothead who may leave his side open to a German counter attack.

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Exxon Pwns Alaska

Posted by viveknarain on June 26, 2008

On Wednesday the Supreme Court decide to throw out $2.5 Billion in punitive damages that Exxon Mobil Corp was supposed to pay for the 1989 Exxon Valdez Alaskan oil spill. Now, this was the worst oil spill in our country’s history, it ruined over 1,200 miles of Alaskan coastline by spreading 11 million gallons of crude oil across the area, annihilating thousands of marine animals and sea birds while decimating local fishing industries.

So as oil prices climb, an oil company finds yet another way to take money from American people by not even paying for the mess that it caused. Exxon posted a record year of revenue in 2007, making more than it ever had before. In fact, in the first quarter of 2007, it would have taken Exxon only two days to raise the $2.5 billion in revenue needed to pay for the disaster it created.

Exxon Valdez Vivek Narain Oil Spill

If I break my arm while I’m at work, my company has to compensate me heavily, even if it’s not their fault. Do you know why normal companies have to pay for things like workers comp? Because it’s their responsibility. For some reason, it seems that oil companies get to exist outside the rules, outside any sense of responsibility.

Maybe this is because the U.S. government feels if they let big oil exist outside the rules they can perform better and give America better fuel prices. However, I think it’s become clear that helping out the oil companies is not helping out average Americans, because even with record profits, we are still getting screwed at the pump. So maybe, instead of helping out oil companies and hoping that it will trickle down to the common man, we should start holding them responsible for their actions.

Exxon might as well have flown a cargo plane over America dumping oil on school children and throwing tax money into the ocean because they know the government will always be there to bail them out, no matter how much it hurts the country.

The livelihood’s of these Alaskan fisherman were completely ruined by the oil spill, and all they asked for was that the company responsible pay for what they did. What kind of message does this send when the Supreme Court says they don’t have too?

Exxon originally was charged with paying $5 Billion for the spill, which was slashed to $4.5 and then to $2.5 billion. Finally, as our nation struggles with exorbitant gas prices and Alaska still reels from an oil spill that ruined countless communities and anhilated entire ecosystems, the U.S. Supreme Court has told us they are only making Exxon pay $507.5 Million, which when it comes to the billions in revenue that Exxon yields each year, is an amount that is simply, “Lost in rounding.”

Our political system is firmly entrenched in the pockets of big oil, and I have no idea how we will ever get it out. This is just the latest case in a long history of average American lives being dumped on by a government that’s more sympathetic to big oil than to its own populace.

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NBA X-Men, The Celtics vs. The Lakers

Posted by viveknarain on June 14, 2008

*UPDATE*

Celtics beat the Lakers 131-92 in Game 6 of the NBA Finals. So, just like I predicted in the Super Bowl Star Wars Post,  good once again crushes evil!  Maybe I should start betting on these games.

A race of superhuman mutants, born with athletic powers greater than any normal human could imagine, remain locked in an epic final duel, the outcome of which will decide the very fate of humanity. Many of these creatures believe in peaceful coexistence with the meager humans who share their world, but some care more about personal glory and power, and will stop at nothing to win.

The C-Men are a team of courageous super-players sworn to battle these evil forces and their unstoppable super-villain leader who’s incredible basketball powers and gigantic ego threaten to destroy the human race. Can the C-Men work as a team and defeat this omnipotent evil force in the final battle to decide the fate of our basketball world?

Garnerine

Garnerinre is the most fearsome of the C-Men, boasting incredible strength and offensive prowess. Garnerine can defeat almost any foe by utilizing an unbridled mixture of emotion, skill, and indestructible physicality. His strength and fearsome clawhands have helped him become an unstoppable defensive force as well, claiming the NBA Defensive Mutant of the Year award in the 2007-2008 season. However, his own passion is his Achilles Heel, as sometimes he is unable to control the rage inside, rendering him useless at key moments.

Kobocalypse

Kobocalypse is the single most powerful mutant player on earth, with the ability to annihilate entire teams by himself. It will take all of the C-Men’s combined powers to destroy him. Despite his unstoppable basketball powers, it is Kobocalypse’s massive ego that threatens to destroy us all. If he wins the Finals, the ego will grow too big for our planet to sustain, spiraling earth out of orbit and into the sun. Four minions take the court alongside Kobocalypse, but they are easily handled by the C-Men. Like most evil henchmen, they are simply fodder who only get in the way as the heroes try to handle the super-villain. Kobocalypse leads by fear, his court followers are forced to listen while he insults them for every mistake and bullies them into acquiescence. Kobocalypse shows no mercy as he flexes his unstoppable basketball capabilities, he knows he is the most powerful creature on the court, and revels in his unrelenting superhuman nature. It will take a lot of teamwork for the C-Men obliterate this monstrosity.

Cyclopierce

Cyclopierce is the C-Men’s leader on the court, using his precision optic lasers to score hordes of points and decimate his opponents. Cyclopierce does his best to reign in the unfettered emotion and intensity of Garnerine, but he is often unsuccessful. Unfortunately, Cyclopierce’s own powers are difficult to control and he occasionally becomes weak, leaving the team to fend for themselves. He is an extremely loyal leader; his entire evil-fighting career has been with the C-Men.

Gasoltooth

Gasoltooth is the most hideous of the evil mutants, and the arch enemy of Garnerine, going head to head with him throughout the final battle. Gasoltooth’s bestial super abilities have caused him to grow freakish hair and rise to an impressive physical height, but he still gets severely abused by Garnerine up and down the mutant court.

Ray Stormlen

Ray Stormlen has the mutant capabilities necessary to destroy all who stand before him, with a three-point accuracy that can rain down the power of the elements on his opponents. However, the stress of controlling such raw shot power affects Stormlen, and he is not always able to harness his power correctly, accounting for some disappointingly unreliable play.

Doc X

Doc X is the wise leader of the C-Men who helped create the unstoppable team, teaching them how to hone their mutant skills and work together as a synchronized superhuman unit of basketball dominance. He has has the ability to control minds with his incredible mental basketball power, and he can even appease the unforgiving Boston press, but only with the help of Cerebro.

Phil Jagneto

Uncompromising and unrelenting, Jagneto will crush anyone and anything on his path to ultimate basketball glory. With a long history of annihilating opponents, Jagneto uses his magnetic coachability to impale other teams with triangle offense, while manipulating his own team with evil mind games (images of Hitler in 2000 playoff game against Sacramento).

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