Posted by viveknarain on August 6, 2008
So it’s obvious that the Flat Belly Diet is a gimmick. I’m sick of all these phony dieting crazes that trick unhealthy people into thinking there is some magical way to loose weight without doing any work. So I came up with my own diet that actually does work. I call it the Fat Belly Diet, and it’s guaranteed to give you the spare tire you always dreamed of.
Breakfast
Two fistfuls of goldfish and a breadbowl with nacho cheese. Fist nacho cheese with goldfish and consume, make sure you eat all the bread.
Lunch
A warm glass of Country Club Malt Liquor and an Ultimate Double Cheeseburger from Jack in the Box. Can’t really say much more about that.
Dinner
Mix Mountain Dew and Kool Aid into a water cooler to keep your thirst quenched throughout this meal. A dozen mozzarella cheese sticks will serve as the appetizer. To prepare the main course, wallpaper a country fried steak with bacon. Fry everything and set over a bed of ranch sauce. Douse with country gravy before eating.

Dessert

Posted in Madness | Tagged: bacon, breadbowl, Country Club Malt Liquor, country fried steak, country gravy, Elephant Bar, Fat Belly Diet, Flat Belly Diet, Giant Cookie Ice Cream Sandwich, goldfish, Jack in the Box, Kool Aid, Mountain Dew, mozzarella cheese sticks, nacho cheese, ranch sauce, Ultimate Double Cheeseburger, water cooler | 4 Comments »
Posted by viveknarain on August 1, 2008
We all know Republicans are racist, so why does Barack Obama waste his breath trying to prove this fact during his campaign. Obama thinks Republicans will use his race to scare voters because he, “doesn’t look like all those other presidents on the dollar bills.”
Could Obama’s statement be any more misguided? He’s a natural!

The only fear mongering in this campaign is how scary-good he looks in my wallet.
Posted in Politics | Tagged: barack obama, campaign, dollar bills, fear mongering, Obama dollar, Obama money, obama on the dollar bill, race, Republican, republicans, republicans racist, scare voters, vivek narain | Leave a Comment »