Vivek Narain on Life

The musings of a man preparing for a mission

Flat Belly Diet vs. Fat Belly Diet

Posted by viveknarain on August 6, 2008

So it’s obvious that the Flat Belly Diet is a gimmick. I’m sick of all these phony dieting crazes that trick unhealthy people into thinking there is some magical way to loose weight without doing any work. So I came up with my own diet that actually does work. I call it the Fat Belly Diet, and it’s guaranteed to give you the spare tire you always dreamed of.

Breakfast

Two fistfuls of goldfish and a breadbowl with nacho cheese. Fist nacho cheese with goldfish and consume, make sure you eat all the bread.

Lunch

A warm glass of Country Club Malt Liquor and an Ultimate Double Cheeseburger from Jack in the Box. Can’t really say much more about that.

Dinner

Mix Mountain Dew and Kool Aid into a water cooler to keep your thirst quenched throughout this meal. A dozen mozzarella cheese sticks will serve as the appetizer. To prepare the main course, wallpaper a country fried steak with bacon. Fry everything and set over a bed of ranch sauce. Douse with country gravy before eating.

Dessert

All you need for dessert is one of these babies – Elephant Bar’s Giant Cookie Ice Cream Sandwich

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4 Responses to “Flat Belly Diet vs. Fat Belly Diet”

  1. coreyReese said

    This is ok for you-but what about for the rest of us who enjoy something a little heftier than a spare tire? I’m thinking along the terms of being so obese that I have to buried in a piano box. This supposed “diet” of yours would merely render me slightly overweight, unhealthy and wheezing. I’m offended, perplexed and hungry-I bid you good day sir!

  2. viveknarain said

    How dare you insult my diet CoreyReese. Are you really implying that the Fat Belly Diet lacks the ability to produce creatures so obese that they must be carried on a flatbed truck between the cheese stick temple and the donut warehouse? I’m so angry I can only think of the worst insult on earth… Go eat a salad!

  3. […] Belly Diet vs. Fat Belly DietFlat Belly Diethttps://viveknarain.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/flat-belly-diet-vs-fat-belly-diet/Read “RE: Flatbellydiet.com” at Lifelong Beauty Forum quote: Flatbellydiet Reply to JWingo: Yes, I […]

  4. David said

    What is the fat belly diets side to things like this http://buzz.prevention.com/flat-belly-diet-tone-your-belly-butt-thighs/

    I still need to be convinced that this is really for me

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